Healthy Relationships

I usually zip by the 3rd floor cafeteria at Hunter College to get to my next class. However, this time I paused near the cafeteria in order to send a text message. After pressing send my eyes flowed to a big banner about 500 feet away from me. Across the banner the title, "Counseling & Wellness Services", sat boldly centered on the beige background. I decided to check it out. Lollipops and free condoms sprinkled the table. But more importantly, a bunch of handouts were readily available. Among the bunch of pamphlets, this one stood out to me...

I remembered that someone requested for a healthy relationship blog. The information in this handout clearly highlights what constitutes a healthy and unhealthy relationship. Even better it provides a hotline for those who need further guidance.

A healthy relationship. Well what kind of relationships are there? Boyfriend-girlfriend. Boss-employee. Parent-child. Teacher-student. Student-student. Although this handout is geared toward a more formal couple relationship, a handful of the guidelines can be applied to other types of relationships.

I retrieved October/November editions of Self, Cosmopolitan and Women's Health Magazine. Each magazine featured an article relevant to the topic of healthy relationships.

Cosmopolitan Magazine contains an interesting inside look on the life of past '60s Playboy Bunny waitresses. As I read on it became apparent that Playboy Bunny waitresses did not have a healthy relationship with their bosses. More specifically, "...they couldn't report to work without their gynecological health being confirmed", which certainly invades privacy and personal space ("Ugly Bunny Tales"). Another disturbing rule the Bunnies had to follow is that they could not be seen drinking water while working. The limitation of water relates largely to decision control, not being able to have water seems as if they were treated like servants. In addition, if the Bunnies did not pass the "Bunny perfect" test then they could not work that night ("Ugly Bunny Tales"). Again, this unhealthy decision control is extreme. Of course, the 1960s deems a different time in society. Today, there are many laws that protect an employee. However, I'm sure many bosses think they can get away with unhealthy relationships with their employees. Point blank, don't be afraid to speak up, report them to human resources or quit.

A vital category in the NYC health handout is Financial Liberty/Control. Self magazine illustrates several helpful hints on how to handle financial discussions with a significant other. In 2009 Utah State University did a study that yielded this result, "...pairs who argue about finances once a week are 30 percent more apt to divorce than those who do it less often" ("Don't let money come between you"). This study was no surprise to me.

So here are the helpful hints to avoid divorce on account of finances.

1. Choose a good moment to bring up financial discussions or even set a date
2. Limit the time you are going to spend talking about finances, if you allow too much time then this can lead to unrelated issues
3. Remember to express your feelings on how a certain financial difficulty is affecting you, straight out criticism will erupt in a negative atmosphere
4. Make sure to handle each topic at a time, not all at once
5. Make it a point to understand what type of financial background each of you come from; who in your family handled the bills, what systems did they use

Lastly, Women's Health Magazine offered a sweet piece of advice to strengthen the bond between couples. Essentially, the article promotes random acts of kindess as a way to rekindle any relationship. For example, if he, "treats you to dinner after you've had a tough day at work" then this reflects how he wants to show his support as a team player and make sure you are less stressed ("The #1 Way to Build a Better Bond"). Another example, if he, "cleaned the house top to bottom, and then fridge is restocked" then he has turned chores into gifts ("The #1 Way to Build a Better Bond"). In both situations it is important to remain grateful and hold back any critical thoughts that may come to mind. I know through experience that these random acts of kindness work! My boyfriend sent me flowers once for a just because. It made me feel special and I knew he didn't just send it because it was a birthday or valentines day. The little things make the biggest impacts.

The Official: http://i-hearthealthy.blogspot.com/view/mosaic

Citations

Davies, Anna. "Ugly Bunny Tales." 11/2011: 160-161. Print.

Dunleavey, MP. "Don't let money come between you." 10/2011: 124. Print.

Savacool, Julia. "The #1 Way to Build a Better Bond." 11/2011: 103-105. Print.